Grief is a common response to the end of a marriage or similar relationship. No matter how or why the relationship has ended, it's likely that both of you will experience to some degree that irrevocable, in-the-bones sense of loss. For some it can be an overwhelming experience.
In our western culture, we aren't very good at grief. Generally we're self-conscious about it, usually constrained. We dont know how to deal with it in ourselves, and we don't know how to be around people who are experiencing it.
Grief is a common source of platitudes and unhelpful advice: "time will heal" for example, or "be strong".
One important truth about grief, that's commonly over-looked in the west, is that it doesn't need to be fixed. Because grief is itself a form of healing.
Grief is like love: natural, unpredictable, beyond our control. And we do well to approach it in that way: allowing it, rather than trying to limit it or shape it.
In my own experience of grief I've found that I've needed to consciously allow it to flow, to express itself through me in some way. I've needed to choose to override the pressures of our culture that want to put my grief in a box, out of sight somehow.
And I've learned that there are ways to do this that are effective and ways that aren't.
I say 'my' grief, but one thing I've experienced is that, at its height, grief can feel like something much greater than me. It can seem to come from somewhere beyond my individual consciousness. Perhaps this is another sign of its connection with love.
In any case, one thing is for sure: we must allow grief to heal us. If we don't we merely sow the seeds for unresolved issues further on down the line.
Grief may not be pretty, but it has the incredible capacity to prevent ugly scars.
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If any of this resonates for you, book your FREE Introductory Consultation here,and let's see how I can help you to allow your grief to do its painful, wonderful healing thing.
