How many people do you know who are in a long-term, romantic relationship and who had never previously been in a long-term, romantic relationship?
I’m betting if you’re aged over 30 that the answer is: not many!
And how many of us have actually taken the time to ‘do the work’ on our previous relationships and their impact upon us? How many of us are completely clear of all negative or limiting effects rooted in a former love?
Answer: not many.
We live in a world in which experiencing multiple partners over the course of our lives is the norm. Yet most of us are still dealing – consciously or otherwise - with the impact of at least one break-up that happened in the past, perhaps many years ago.
The results of unresolved issues which are rooted in former relationships are many and varied, and include:
- Inability to find a new partner
- Inability to commit
- Sexual boredom
- Relationship hopping
- Low confidence and self-esteem
- Anxiety, fear and isolation
- Duplicitous behaviours
- Repeated patterns of desire and break-up
- Dating people with any/all of the above issues
- Settling for less
…and many more.
The fundamental truth is that if we want to make sure that we are able to find and sustain love and partnership now, we must make sure we’ve resolved the issues created or revealed by previous relationships.
There’s no short-cut to this: you have to do the work to get the outcomes you want.